Today, sunny. Finally. Awesome.
I got up early and I wrote, and I had a orange-berry smoothie that was delicious. I drank it all and it tasted like sweet magic. I it’s got to go to morning yoga, and I could do all the postures, and it was warm and familiar and I felt so powerful and centered. Now I’m sitting in a cafe, without a single commitment to anyone this afternoon. I have the whole rest of the day to listen to classical music and work on my dissertation. Even better, I want to work on my dissertation, and I feel well enough to work on my dissertation. Tomorrow my best friend comes to visit, and it’s supposed to stay sunny.
Remember in the Land Before Time, when Little Foot found that leaf in the desert, with the droplet of water in it? Well, if you also grew up in the 80s and 90s and watched Land Before Time as much as my cousins and brother and I did, then you probably remember. It’s a lovely moment, and he looks into that water in the leaf in the desert, and Little Foot finally has something to drink. Today isn’t exactly like that, it’s just a little like that. It’s a handful of sunshine and feel-good in a place where there isn’t a whole lot of awesome.
Sure, I’m still tired. My stomach turns if I think about the next chemo or whiff the wrong smell. But I feel a thousand times better than yesterday, and five thousand times better than the day before yesterday, and…. Now, that’s all that matters. Feeling well enough to do things I love in the world. Feeling well enough to get excited about the urgency with which my diss awaits. Feeling well enough to hole up in a cafe to write. Feeling well enough to stop and buy the cats treats. Feeling well enough to walk from yoga to the cafe and let the sunshine fall on my freckled skin. Feeling well enough.
So here’s some random wig pics…