***does anyone know why this post is showing in italics? I can’t change it! so annoying!
I think I will be OK after this. I have one chemo left, a unilateral mastectomy shortly there after, and in a few years, a prophylactic mastectomy for the other breast. Sure, we can’t know what the future holds. But mostly, life just continues.
Lots of people I’ve met in cancerland have gotten crappy news lately. Life-changing news. News that startles. News that takes your breath away.
And what I realize today is that we are all trying precariously to balance and we are all in such different situations and all we can do is ground ourselves in what is right and true and real for each of us, and hold our friends’ hands really tight when things are really wobbly.
So tonight, I’m grounding in what I know to be real and true and good for me: I am getting through this, I have responded well to the treatment, I will have a surgery, and then I should be OK. My cancer seems to be manageable, at least in the present. I have been really supported by the most awesome family and friends and my the best Sammy ever. It’s been about four months of the strangest journey ever, and its not over yet, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There’s still another chemo and many days of bone pain and not being able to sleep for lack of being able to be still. Then of course, the mastectomy. And then the dreaded tamoxifen I hear horror stories about at every turn, for ten years. But we’re still trucking. And it’s important to recognize that things are really going fairly OK. I mean as OK as they can when things are going in cancerland.
And so that is why it is important for me to ground in what it is real for me, and open my arms really wide to my peers, and do whatever I can to make sure that I see things about cancer- treatments, politics, cultures, worlds- change.
So here’s some photos from the past many weeks.