i have to write about cancer

Well, the title says it all, doesn’t it? I have to write about cancer. I have to write about women under 35 with breast cancer. And I don’t mean write, like blog. I mean write like, research.

I’m so desperate to read something critical, brilliant, something smart about breast cancer in young women. Something about how we negotiate breast cancer. Something like all these rock-star blogs, but something academic. I’m insanely enraged that this has happened, especially because if we (as in, humans) treated our earth a whole lot better cancer would be preventable! It seems like something is begging to be researched.

I want to write about how young women navigate breast cancer. I want to write about the media communities that we flock to, and about the spaces we carve out for each other in private facebook groups and chats to talk in ways that are not “happy happy” breast cancer survivorship, and about the scattered but strong network of young adults with cancer. I want to write about why young adults with cancer become activists, and what the figure of the young adult cancer survivor turned activists looks like and means in cancer research. I want to research and write about sex and tamoxifen and gender in breast cancer in very young women. I want to write about why this happening in very young bodies, and why it’s tied to politics and capitalism.

You see, last night I was at yoga. I went to not-my-favorite-teacher, which was a leap for me, and I thought about the future while we did poses. I want to live somewhere with clean air. I want to live close to the mountains and to the ocean. I want to wake up and be able to walk down the street for a coffee. I want our children to be able to walk to school.I want to live somewhere warm enough to bike ride casually, as I do, in many of the summer months. I want to work on breast cancer. I want to write about feminist politics. I want to write about young cancer. I want to make a difference about the cancer invading breasts and bodies under 35. That is what matters to me.

The sharpest fighting tool I have is writing. And I am enraged. And so I will write. Bring it.

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