cancer camp & the view from here

Tomorrow, I’m headed to cancer-camp. It’s not really cancer-camp, I’m just calling it that. It is a retreat, for post-cancer people, up in Whistler. It looks to be lovely. I’ve packed my bag and loaded my Kindle with novels I probably won’t read and stuffed some dark chocolate into my backpack. Because, just in case.

It’s the beginning of the epic month of July healing. First the retreat, then camping with Sammy and our niece, then Vancouver and my bestie from home visiting, then Hawaii. It’s meant to be a month of warm and cozy, of safe and comfortable, of moving through and beyond cancer. I am looking forward to these moments of reflection, of being in beautiful places with beautiful people, of honest conversation, creative processes, and intensive focus on dealing with the cancer residue and moving on.

I think I need this focused time. Cancer has wreaked havoc on my life, left me with a life I cannot recognize. Life is filled with moments that produce insane and over-flowing feeling, emotional responses that don’t map onto the situations, inability to see anything without the cancer-blinders on. And so I need this focused time to figure out how to deal, how to sail the waters of this new normal, how to navigate the tensions and the fears and the hopes and the desires, how to chart a path forward.

So I’ll be away from the blog for a while, though I’ll probably keep writing and publish later. Or maybe I’ll just make videos and publish-or not- those. Or maybe I’ll just do yoga and I won’t write anything. Signing off for now, dear readers. Keep your fingers crossed for some insights from cancer camp come this time next week. Xox.

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